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Every story has another way of being told. – Krishna

As human beings we naturally create narratives. These are the stories that connect our experiences and can become fodder for the voice that we hear in our own minds. As things shift and sputter within our own work lives, narratives can become very active. The uncertainty of how the future might unfold — is ample fuel to build them.

Narratives can take on useful forms and can be positive. For example, a smart strategic narrative can fuel an entire organization and a well-crafted career narrative can support career paths. Yet on the flip side, narratives can be negative — causing great distraction. This brand of those narratives, can play havoc with our own self-image, our work and our work-based relationships.

Most of us have built a narrative about who we are and how we work. Your team may harbor a set concerning who they are as a group, as well. Ditto for leadership.

This is not a surprise.

Stories are central within our history as human beings. (Interestingly, this tendency to connects the dots, or pattern seek is named narrative bias.) Even while we sleep we seem to weave a story, comprised of the bits and pieces of our day, blended with our unique past. On a basic level, we build narratives to make sense of the world. They are much like shorthand. At their best — narratives can build confidence and power our paths. Yet, at their worst, they can become misleading and destructive.

The problem arises when the negative narratives get in the way of our own development or our work.

Narratives have become a very present fixture in my work as a coach. This is because it became evident that narratives affect nearly every individual, team and organization. Moreover, the thread of narratives was a common blockade to progress, and can become active when we deal with people, teams and even other organizations.

When the narrative surrounds our own paths, skills & abilities — an entirely new problem can emerge. In this scenario, the stories we tell ourselves or others that other might build about us begin to define us. When you hit a pothole in our paths, these narratives seem to be waiting ringside.

Let’s take advantage of the current pause to identify them — and make an attempt to challenge the negative variety.

Only then can we unravel their power and move forward without them.

Strategy: Narrative Identification

• Identify a narrative that affects you personally as a contributor. This narrative could speak to your skills/traits/abilities, your work, how you feel about yourself or how you believe others see you.
• Identify a narrative that affects your team. This can include your team’s internal functioning, and how it behaves with adjacent teams/functions or clients.
• Try to pinpoint how these narratives developed. This could be rooted in an experience, a conversation or possibly hearsay.
• Challenge the narrative. This involves challenging the narrative by posing an alternative explanation and possible outcomes.

Our innate need to make sense of the world, can make us susceptible to built narratives. Be ever-vigilant, to recognize if they helping or hurting your work life.

Please note: All posts are solely owned by the author. Reprinting (other than re-blogging at another WordPress blog) is by permission only.

Dr. Marla Gottschalk is an Industrial/Organizational Psychologist, diagnostician & speaker, who explores the value of core stability to empower our work. A charter member of the LinkedIn Influencer Program, she has been featured at the Harvard Business Review, Talent Zoo and The Huffington Post.

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We seem to be spending a lot more time at home these days — and as a result, paying much more attention to my personal surroundings. (Our physical surroundings do affect us.) When it comes to building an interesting design aesthetic that offers a sense of comfort, the small things really do matter.

So — if you find yourself rearranging your furniture & accessories with less than spectacular results, we’ve collected a few ideas to indulge your whims, while minimizing the financial commitment. We’ve consulted one of our favorite design mavens & come up with a few quick ways to lighten, brighten & craft your own space.

Our suggestions:

1. Pillow Covers. We’ve developed a penchant for pillow covers. West Elm’s ever-changing collection of pillow covers are always a great option. The fabrics are not only stylish, but possess a certain level of quality not usually seen at their price point. Options run the gamut from bohemian to chunky knits — to modern and sleek. Once you invest in the pillow inserts (Amazon likely has what you need), you are good to change things out to your heart’s desire. Snare a couple on clearance to give them an initial try on. It’s a win-win.

You may not think of them first, but Amazon has a few worthy pillow cover sources that we love as well. Whether you love a boho, grand millennial or modern vibe — there are plenty to choose from.

Here are a few options that might add just the right amount of pop to your space. (Just click on the photo for pricing.)

2. Lighting. There is no better way to design a space, than to choose interesting task lighting. Whether this is a chandelier or a table lamp — there are infinite options to change the look & flavor of your space. (Just click on the links for more info.)

3. A New Lampshade (or Two). A new shade could be just the answer. There are more textures and fabrics than I can count; so finding the right style is really just all about shopping around. BTW, don’t overlook sites such as Etsy (check out shops like Morlibird & Blue Crocus Textiles). We’ll admit they are not entirely inexpensive, but a better option than replacing the entire base/shade combo.

Have another idea? Share it in comments.

Live.Work.Think.Play shares observations concerning a wide array of topics from founding a company — to the perfect gift. It is designed to share lessons learned from a variety of perspectives.

Your inner voice may tell you that you are not a creative individual.

In fact, you have likely steeped yourself within this belief. Repeated it. Held on to that judgement.

Written yourself off, “creativity-wise”.

Yet that belief is likely based upon an inaccurate version of how creativity actually manifests. For example, we believe that great ideas somehow miraculously arrive to those we deem “creative”. However, the notion that you must be born creative is inaccurate; when in fact that dynamic can be nurtured.

Truth be told, we can all enhance our own creativity by employing specific strategies, sticking to them and offering time to let things unfold. As someone who depends upon being somewhat creative, the advice offered in this HBR post — only solidifies my personal take on the creativity.

It is in part, about our own practices.

There are “ingredients”, so to speak.

Here are a few ideas to help you along with that recipe:

• Indulge a spark. If you have a seemingly random interest in something or someone (a certain individual’s art perhaps, a specific business or a topic) stay with it. Attempt to understand and capture the root of the attraction. Note the “whys”.
• Find the right place & time. As an individual, you have spaces & time frames that are more likely to support creative endeavors. Are you usually on vacation? Is morning (or evening) the most idea-productive time of day? When do you feel more creative?
• Leave room. As you might expect, a commitment to creativity is necessary. As with Google’s 70-20-10 rule, this implies that you devote time to explore new areas that are adjacent to your day-to-day work or interests. As many would confirm, exposure to alternative “ingredients” can spark great observations and lead to ideas.
• Become an expert. Observing your area of interest from all sides and from varying perspectives, is absolutely necessary. Read all that you can, consider issues, failed theories and explore known problems. Attempt to bridge constraints. This knowledge base can serve as the foundation for ideas & inspiration.
• Expose your ideas. Ideas never arrive fully developed. They must be shared. Identify a safe space to hash things out. Be sure to identify one or two individuals, with whom you feel comfortable sharing ideas not yet perfected. Overall, share your ideas sooner — and allow others to help you improve them.
• Rest. As discussed in Issac Asimov’s, The Eureka Phenomenon, once you’ve set the stage you may need to back off. Our brains, require time off to digest. Be sure to engage in activities which allow your mind to relax  — such as a walk — or as Asimov practiced, “shuffle off to the movies”.

What are your creativity enhancing strategies?

Marla Gottschalk is an Industrial/Organizational Psychologist and a charter member of the LinkedIn Influencer Program. Her thoughts on work life & have appeared in the Harvard Business Review, Forbes, BBC Work Life, Quartz and The Huffington Post

I’ve been fighting a battle with my new home. Wrought with disappointment and stress (we lost our first choices in a challenging housing market), I’m wondering how to get beyond clear resentment I feel for this home. Of course, after all is said and done, we are fortunate to be here. However, that doesn’t seem to remove the angst.

But, I digress. This is a post about building your haven — no matter where you are living these days. Note that I’ve applied (or will apply) all of the advice recommended. Also note that these steps have worked previously, when we bought an old fixer-upper that was a bit more challenging than anticipated. (We’ve owned 6 homes, from a 60’s quad-level to a new, custom build).

So — if you get a sinking feeling when you think about your space, read on.

• Consider the psychology of it all. Stress during the search process can definitely color your feelings about your new space. Make an attempt to separate your feelings about your home or apartment, from the search dynamic. Think of this scenario: If your friend chose this space, what might your reaction be upon seeing it? Would it be positive? Compare this with your own current assessment.
• Focus on function. Form has to follow function in your home. If possible, tackle the issues that get in the way of living, such as doors that swing the wrong way or a noisy, annoying washer that came with the package. Little things that simply do not work for your life, or create stress — need to be addressed early on.
• Focus on the small bits. Elements such as lighting or kitchen hardware can change the feel of a space. (Consider the difference between black wrought iron knobs & gold-tone hardware.) If the basics such as your cabinetry are not objectionable, there is hope to still win you over.
• Insert yourself. Carve out one space that has the most potential to bring you joy. Build a gallery wall of favorite art or photos & bring out treasured home decor items. Play hard ball by loading up on the elements that bring you positive vibes.
• Keep rearranging. Our new home (a Tudor) is quite dark, and has an awkward corner fireplace that was befuddling at the very least. Try multiple arrangements of your furniture pieces until it feels comfortable. Use the accessories you own to change the look & feel of the space. What worked in your past home, may not work where you find yourself now. So, try it all.
• Make peace with it. You’ll have to let it go on some level — even if this means accepting that this feeling won’t completely change. Keeping yourself in a completely negative space takes a lot of energy and will inevitably bleed into other parts of your life.

Live.Work.Think.Play shares observations concerning a wide array of topics from founding a company — to the perfect gift. It is designed to share lessons learned from a variety of perspectives.

“Some of us think holding on makes us strong, but sometimes it is letting go.” – Herman Hesse

Most of us are challenged to let go of disappointment, failure or regret within our work lives.

We bemoan the collaborations that didn’t prove fertile, the target we may have missed or the client that got away. We are taught repeatedly to “stick with things” and to “never give up“. Yet, I’ve seen this strategy backfire and cause a great deal of stress. In times such as these, taking an honest look at our goals to evaluate where we really are is critical. We must be aware of our available psychological resources and prevent further drain.

As a psychologist, I’ve seen an unusual type of guilt — “goal guilt” as I like to call it — affect all types of contributors from those new to the workforce, to seasoned CEOs and entrepreneurs. In may cases, the unfulfilled elements in the past, simply get in the way of a more fulfilling, more work life in our future.

Invariably, the elements that we value the most and live at the core, can cause us the most trouble.

Big, audacious goals are touted as a cornerstone of our work lives. (Some advice here, on how to set them wisely.) We are encouraged not only to set them, but to live alongside them with each and every breath we draw. I’m good with goals and we all need them. Yet, just like the battery that feeds our favorite device — goals have a “life span”. They reach a state, where they are no longer viable or serve as a meaningful motivator.

How this affects us is something we should pause and note.

People also cycle in and out, of our work lives. There are expectations attached to them as well — and not all of these might have been fulfilled. There may have been a mismatch, or we (or they) have changed or circumstances influenced the outcomes. Our time with them may have felt unproductive and frustrating, but inevitably, “it was what it was”.

All of this holding on requires energy and “headspace”. Yet, our attention cannot be infinitely divided. (Research has shown that our minds burns through 20% of our energy requirements though it represents only 2% of body mass.) In a sense, wasting that precious energy, is squandering our own potential.

Sometimes we simply must move on — and let go.

How you would describe your own history in this regard? Do you find it easy to let go? Or are you challenged to do so? If you lean toward the stubborn and notably inflexible end of the continuum, the process can be arduous. However, all of this hanging on doesn’t serve us. It can bring a fog that clouds new opportunities and can fuel bitterness. Nevertheless, turning away and leaving these things behind can be challenging and bring a certain sadness.

Letting go of people and goals that define yesterday can be a good thing. We must challenge our mindset to allow us to do so.

Here are a few thoughts concerning what letting go is and isn’t:

• Letting go of a goal isn’t a defeat.
• It does not signal failure on your part.
• It may mean that the goal no longer serves you.
• It may mean you have committed your best effort — and the outcomes/rewards weren’t there.
• It is closure.
• It is about shifting your energies to fertile ground.
• It is about becoming more agile.
• It can foster resilience.
• It can build a sense of adventure; restore a certain hope and confidence in the future.
• It can mark the moment of a new beginning.

In many cases letting go, creates room for pursuits that are far more rewarding — and carves out a place for the goals and people that will help move us forward.

I would say that softens the blow.

Is letting go challenging for you? Have you mastered the art? Share your experiences with our community.

Dr. Marla Gottschalk is an Industrial/Organizational Psychologist. She is a charter member of the LinkedIn Influencer Program. Her thoughts on work life have appeared in various outlets including Talent Zoo, Harvard Business Review, Forbes, Quartz and The Huffington Post.

It’s time to talk about burnout. Considering what we have all muddled through (and are still going through) over the last year or so, it can come as no surprise that many of us are feeling deeply exhausted. For unknown reasons, I never thought to share my own burnout saga. However, I thought it might help in some small way. First let me say, that the dynamic was hastened by the pressures of the pandemic — yet it is very possible that the roots had already been established. I’ve also realized, that if we fail to see the writing on the wall early, burnout can take hold in a manner that can be difficult to shake.

Burnout is real. We need to act promptly. To protect ourselves and hopefully mitigate its long-term damage. (See an overview of the research here.)

As a coach, I’ve discussed burnout with many individuals over the years. I’ve seen burnout manifest during unpredictable organizational change initiatives, as well as healthy industry peaks. It can occur because of one perpetually trying client or the full brunt of a dire economic downturn. Burnout is also rooted in our personal lives; too many burdens or disappointments, not enough joy, a defeated mindset or family issues.

Ultimately, no one is immune.

We do seem to experience burnout as individuals, so its course is also individual. This can throw us off the trail and likely leave us unprepared. Burnout will not look the same across people. As a result, it can fly under the radar, What you are feeling may not initially appear to be burnout.

Above all, we should be discussing the issue and sharing experiences. Personally, burnout manifested in my world as a thunderstorm gathering courage in the distance. There were signs it was approaching. Pangs of apathy and avoidance. Yet, because that is alarming on many levels — particularly because in most cases (as was with mine) the work is our livelihood — we try to ignore its presence. We may have trained for years or others may depend upon us; there are so many reasons that we cannot simply pick up, check out or change course.

As a rule, I believe that we opt to compensate however we know how and press on. We assume there is nothing to be done, as we cannot change the things we must (and in many cases previously loved) and should do.

However, there are costs to this strategy.

Engagement with our work wanes. Motivation plummets. As is the case now, we have also lived through a tumultuous time in history which has affected every breathing corner of our lives. We cannot expect all of this this to steer clear from our lives.

While we may not be able to walk away from life’s responsibilities, we can take the time to understand the winds within our own storm. This may offer clues that can lead to solutions. So, here are a few things to consider when attempting to understand burnout, and its roots, in life & work.

Hopefully, the topics may alert you to something that can be addressed.

• We do not acknowledge broken agreements about work & life we have made with ourselves. In many cases, there is a psychological contract with ourselves, that we have breached. We may have briefly thought: “I’m extremely weary of this” or “I’m not as happy with this part of my career, as I used to be”, but we pressed on. The scales were tipping and we kept on going, without considering where that path might lead. The rewards were simply not keeping pace with the investment of time, trouble and emotion.
• When to stop is never discussed. We are offered an abundance of advice about how to start something. Yet there is not nearly enough discussion about when and how (and why) we should slow down or step away from something in life or work. We conveniently forget that remaining productive & happy over the long-haul requires balance & rest, even with the tasks that we love. We may not have had the strategies in place to achieve this.
• We wait for a savior. It is unlikely that someone will approach you to say, “Stop what you are still doing well.” or ” You should take a bit of time for yourself”. You must take on the responsibility of your own psychological resources. Monitor feelings of hope, self-efficacy, resilience and optimism. Pay attention if one has fallen precipitously.
• Declare or wither. One pillar of core stability (my work lifestyle philosophy), is to embrace radical self-awareness regarding what you need to stay productive. We cannot always choose the roles, tasks, or people that are a part of our life’s journey. However, if it is humanly possible to affect core elements before burnout sets in, do this. Declare the elements that are vital to you as a contributor.
• Acknowledge that living through history is an accelerator. As a child I used to try to imagine how others had lived through World Wars. What were they thinking? Could they go back to living normal lives, that would include joy or a sense of calm? I can only hypothesize that they would not want to return to the elements of their lives that were already worn or troublesome. They would want to grab life and live it to the fullest. That a clear purpose to live well, would dominate.

I do not have the answers — only more questions. However, acknowledging what we have lived through and how this affects our work is vital. Above all, know that our collective journeys are personal, and this requires a very personal solution.

Do you have a strategy to mitigate burnout? How has this helped you? Share it with this forum.

Marla Gottschalk is an Industrial/Organizational Psychologist and a charter member of the LinkedIn Influencer Program. Her thoughts on work life & have appeared in the Harvard Business Review, Forbes, BBC Work Life, Quartz and The Huffington Post