Tag: Live

I seem to have developed the habit of personifying social media outlets.

That may sound a bit off. But trust me, it’s not the first time I’ve engaged in this strategy. As a consultant, I’ve always thought of organizations as having a distinct vibe or personality, separate from the clients that I meet. (Some are depressed. Others frenetic.) Over the years, I’ve developed a strong propensity to craft stories out of disjointed facts, observations and conversations. It may be a bad habit. Yet, it helps me makes sense of things at the start of a project, when there are one million details to consider.

This habit seems to have extended to social media. To be quite honest, I usually find Facebook tedious and bit needy. Instagram often feels fickle & hyped up on pretty places (which I enjoy) & success-oriented quotes. LinkedIn nearly always feels focused & fair (I have more than my share of followers over there, so I am likely biased.). Twitter feels balanced on most days; a bit like my memory of my high school cafeteria at lunchtime. (Except for the realm of politics.) You are clearly aware that all of the various groups are present, but no one really cares if they hang out near you. There is usually enough decorum, to keep the room from devolving into an all-out food fight.

My assessment of a social media definitely impacts my willingness to enter into a relationship with them. My patience can be worn thin, just as I would feel when ready to leave a party where I feel disengaged.

These days, I’m only willing to invest my time and trouble, where I feel understood & loosely accepted. I’ll delete a page willy-nilly, if I have a clear and present sense that their algorithm is on a path to “ostracize” me. (I’m a proud sort. I won’t hang around to feel the sting of the sneers.) When re-starting on Instagram this past May, I haplessly re-shared a random photo of an old structure in London and the photographer reported me to the powers that be. This unfolded even though I had clearly attributed her, took the photo down immediately & tendered an apology. (Turns out she was somewhat of a big deal over there. I explained that my articles are often shared without my direct permission, but if attributed I’m usually ok with it. But, alas this was her foul to call.)

Lesson learned: Don’t share great photos on Instagram? (Know Instagram is a business for many. I now know & respect this.)

If a coaching client were to ask me about this topic, I know how I would respond: Spend time where you feel uplifted. If something feels horrible, stay away. Take a break and then possibly re-engage. But first, look into your heart and find out the “why”. Develop your personal brand, where you feel aligned with the “vibe”.

By now, you’re likely getting the sense that my relationships with social media may bear a striking resemblance to the outcome of a Rorschach assessment. I concur. It is entirely possible that this dynamic has possibly re-ignited my teenage insecurities regarding shifting friend groups. On the other hand, it may simply be a lack of stimulation during the marathon that is this pandemic.

I’m unsure.

You make the call.

Have you ever personified social media?

Share your experiences.

Live.Work.Think.Play shares observations concerning a wide array of topics from founding a company — to the perfect office gift. It is designed to share lessons learned from a variety of perspectives.

Photo by Etienne Delorieux on Unsplash

Building a life that works for you, not only includes the broader strokes — where you live, where you work, your family unit — but the nuances that round out the entire picture. With all that is going on around us. we can easily neglect the part of our world, where we have a moment to reflect and process. In these times — even though we may be venturing out less, overload remains a real and present concern. This makes “process time” even more important.

I’m reminded of a fascinating post (more on the book Daily Rituals here) discussing how some of the most incredible individuals of the last 400 years spent their time. While their areas of expertise were varied and remarkable, there was one obvious link among many of them: From Milton to Tchaikovsky, many set aside time for a daily walk.

Some ventured alone. One with family.

Walks rock.

Here are a few of the benefits:

• Digestion. I’m not referring to gastronomy — I’m referring to the all of the information you’ve consumed over the course of the day. It’s difficult to process or notice patterns, when your brain isn’t allowed the time to do so.
• Fresh air. I love home my office, but a change of scenery does help me feel rested and refreshed. I may not have access to a beach or a handy mountain range to view, as some of my colleagues. But the breeze is just as refreshing here in the mid-west —  and the birds just as vocal.
• Lowered anxiety. With our current lives, comes our unshakable friend — anxiety. Physical exercise has great way of managing this nagging by-product of uncertainty.
• Digital reprieve. Not sure how much time you must spend in front of a computer, but the changes in our work lives, have upped our screen time significantly. Balancing this is vital.

Commit just 15 minutes each day to get out and walk.

Observe the birds. Track the progress of the budding trees or your neighbor’s front garden. Feel the breeze.

You can also take a tip from Mozart and keep paper and pencil handy. You never know when inspiration will strike you.

Write me here and let me know what happens.

Want the book? Just click on the visual.

Live.Work.Think.Play shares observations concerning a wide array of topics from founding a company — to the perfect office gift. It is designed to share lessons learned from a variety of perspectives.

Feel the need to read? We’re adding a weekly feature at Live.Work.Think.Play. With so many interesting posts across the web — we felt the need to share what we’ve been reading. Staying true to our mission to expand your perspective, you’ll find the article titles are quite varied. Some titles will be newly published, others newly discovered.

Enjoy.

Do you like this feature? Tell us how we’re doing in comments.

• How to Do Nothing, Jenny Odell at Medium. You might feel like you are falling into the proverbial rabbit hole with this one, but stick with it and follow Ms. Odell on this remarkable journey. (Take this post in stages.) Like a slow burn — you’ll won’t even realize that something has awakened within you.
• Seven Rules for Working at a Coffee Shop, (Put this one on hold.) Brenna Houck at Eater. Picking up my daily coffee, I often pass by the “regulars” who set up shop at the shop. Yet, I never think about what are doing, to earn their right to stay. If you have any doubts about that exchange relationship — this might help you learn the ropes.
• How to Move From Self-Awareness to Self-Improvement, Jennifer Porter at Harvard Business Review. When it comes down to it, change requires more than being aware — you have to actually change your behavior. Some great ideas to get there.

Live.Work.Think.Play shares observations concerning a wide array of topics from founding a company — to the perfect office gift. It is designed to share lessons learned from a variety of perspectives.

I’m all in for a great idea that might help us move forward. But rest assured, I’ll put that idea through its paces. We should all take a closer look — breaking things down and exploring how it all works. Where the philosophy of manifesting is concerned, I completely understand its allure. In a sea of self-care trends, it does appear to embrace positivity (let’s be sure not confuse it with mindfulness). Yet, I fear that while it purports to offer many a supportive path when life and work throw become challenging, it falls miserably short in the proof department. Here are my concerns with manifesting — and you may or may not agree with my reasoning. (Read more here.)

Problem #1. For an idea to hold water, “the proof” so to speak “lies in the pudding.” To truly improve our lives I believe that “doing” — actual behavioral change is necessary.  Thoughts may be the starting point to change. Yet thoughts never represent the complete story when it comes to forward progress. We cannot wish for things to develop. We have to act. Without a plan of action, only false hope can follow.
We must act to change our lives. Only our behaviors can truly accomplish this.

Problem #2. Let’s consider the underlying premise of manifesting. When our thoughts are unleashed into the universe, these thoughts somehow create more of the same energy. Logically, this leads me to ask questions such as: “Will my thoughts concerning my difficult client, bring more of the same toward me?” or “Did my friend ghost me because my vibrational energy was low and broadcasted my doubts?” Essentially, this line of reasoning implies that whatever you put out there thought-wise, the universe magically (and inexplicably) slaps it back into your face.
Manifesting shifts our intentions into the great unknown. It professes control, but actually hands off that control to an entity outside of ourselves.

Problem #3. Let’s consider, what all of this implies about any emotions that are not positive. Are we also saying that negative feelings are worthless, that they should be stomped out entirely and ignored? I hold the firm belief that our emotions tell us something. That our sometimes nagging “inner-speak” is alerting us to the work that needs to be done — and this work bring our lives into alignment.
We can acknowledge what is wrong, yet challenge our situation to improve it.

Weighing in on the side of manifesting, I do know that hope matters. Hope leads us to try again and again, to reach for the goals that matter to us. However, while we might fulfill the “hope criterion” with manifesting, we must also take things one step further and build self-efficacy through deliberate action.

Manifest that.

Dr. Marla Gottschalk is an Industrial/Organizational Psychologist. She is a charter member of the LinkedIn Influencer Program. Her thoughts on work life have appeared in various outlets including Talent Zoo, Forbes, Quartz and The Huffington Post.

 

We all have a story.

Yet, the bits and pieces may feel somewhat random. (Rest assured they are not.) Discovering the arc of your story demands reflection. This exercise requires time to obsess over the threads — and to then weave them together. To reflect on the fabric that has been created.

You’ll need to be open to feel a bit uncomfortable. To see observe the warp. To digest what you see.

Are there narratives cast about you that do not reflect who you intend to be?

We should never let a narrative persist that is not our own.

Ready to explore the building blocks of your story? Start here with the “I am from” exercise from Mary Phifer’s Writing to Change the World.

Exploring your unique story is worthwhile.

This can be reveal hidden sources of support and the gaps that must be filled.

Because finding meaning — and then being able to move forward — is everything.

Read more about it and try the “I am from” exercise:

Dr. Marla Gottschalk is an Industrial/Organizational Psychologist. She is a charter member of the LinkedIn Influencer Program. Her thoughts on work life have appeared in various outlets including Talent Zoo, Forbes, Quartz and The Huffington Post.

Please note: While the opinions below are my own, I was compensated by Johnson & Johnson for this post.

In the United States more than 50% of the work force is women. Yet, less than 15% hold corporate board seats within global companies. Organizations that embrace women on their boards enjoy a number of potential advantages, including financial performance and problem-solving capabilities. However, the numbers remain dismally low.

It is clear that we are missing something vital — an unsung element that could possibly help more women reach their potential.

One such element that may be vastly underutilized is mentoring.

Without mentors, meeting our potential can elude us. We might fail to build the mastery and confidence we need, or envision our own potential. While there is ample research to back up the merits of mentoring, we need to pause and reflect on the topic.

Why are so many women seeking mentors — yet cannot find them?

It is time to pause and openly discuss this question.

One great example of elevating the mentorship conversation is Johnson & Johnson.

At Johnson & Johnson, they have a steadfast commitment to the role of mentoring in women’s careers — as they are committed to igniting the power of women to create a healthier tomorrow.  More mentors are stepping forward. Two ideas are central to this initiative. Firstly, mentoring is a valid tool to increase the number of women in management (at Johnson & Johnson this is 43% in the U.S.). Secondly, reaching out to young women in their formative years is critical. Through Johnson & Johnson’s mentorship partnership with Girls Inc., women executives are being paired with high school students who would like to make an impact within their own communities.

Why are mentors so scarce? While we often offer support to initiatives that seem worthy, our directed energy may not fully match our commitment. Not because we do not believe in what we are supporting, but because we are unsure how to move forward.

Check out their video, “Igniting the Power of Women & Girls Through Mentorship,” here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6NKs-IMDDL0.

Why are mentors so scarce? While we often offer support to initiatives that seem worthy, our directed energy may not fully match our commitment. Not because we do not believe in what we are supporting, but because we are unsure how to move forward.

Becoming a mentor can feel like a daunting task. However, it doesn’t need to be. We can all do more.

The bottom line is this: We hesitate to step forward and mentor women. Yet, mentoring relationships can alter someone’s life and career — serving as a loud, positive internal voice in an often noisy environment.

Strong, empowered women are raised by many.

Addressing the reasons behind our hesitation is vital. Research has pointed to the reluctance concerning time commitments and concerns about appropriate expertise. We need to collectively move past these thresholds. Move beyond our fear of a misstep, when we can do so much that is right.

Let’s pose a collective challenge.

Mentor another woman — a young girl, a student. A less established co-worker. Another woman’s daughter. Your niece. Your neighbor.

Someone who might truly benefit from your knowledge and experience.

A few things to consider:

• You may not see yourself as a mentor — but you do have that capability. Every time a contributor reaches out to you, it is a signal. A signal that you may be viewed as a mentor. Explore the following questions: How can I help or support this individual today? Is there something I have learned in my journey that may help another woman evolve positively? To help them grow?
• Mentoring is about small steps. We tend to think of mentoring as an overwhelming, grand commitment. However, it takes a community of people to build a strong career. Small moments can matter. They sum to a notably stronger foundation on which to build a career.
• Be honest about your own journey. Although it may not feel entirely comfortable, reflect on the moments where you needed guidance and received it (or did not). Use these moments as a guide to help others.
• Consider sponsorship as well. If you remain hesitant to make the mentorship commitment, consider sponsorship as an alternative. Shine the spotlight on another’s work. Make an introduction. Encourage productive collaboration. Help build stronger networks of expertise.

We do not need justification to nurture another’s talent or recognize a job well done.

Mentoring is about seeing ourselves in a supportive role.

It is about being generous.

Sharing what you know.

Supporting the same inflection points, where you may have needed a boost.

It is about building someone up.

Helping someone see their own potential.

Mentoring is the right dynamic.

You are perfect for the role.

Dr. Marla Gottschalk is an Industrial/Organizational Psychologist. She is a charter member of the LinkedIn Influencer Program. Her thoughts on work life have appeared in various outlets including Talent Zoo, Forbes, Quartz and The Huffington Post.

Yes, I guess you could say I am a loner,

but I feel more lonely in a crowed room

with boring people than I feel on my own. – Henry Rollins

By: Allison McClintick

According to just about everyone — you are supposed to “discover your in-group”.

Oh, that coveted entity! That sacred clan who will naturally “get you” and vibe with your very “essence.” They will “protect” you and explore life’s adventures with you and feed you with their own fingers and — I’ll stop.

My mockery betrays me. (In fact, it even smells a little like resentment.) However, the truth is this: I’ve discovered that I’m a bit of a “wolf pack of one”.

I haven’t found this group yet. I have also discovered, that I don’t want to find one.

Let’s explore the contradictory messages we are offered about this dynamic: 1) Being deeply connected to a like-minded group is the Holy Grail of belonging & 2) only inside that safety, are we then praised for being courageous, independent and self reliant.

Huh?

If however, you are someone who actually prefers to walk alone (as I am) and find yourself outside of a group (yet, self reliant) —  you might be viewed skeptically. In fact, you may be told that you just haven’t found it yet. (It may also be decided that you haven’t experienced the real joy of life.) Worse yet, potentially viewed as an unapproachable loaner.

What?

My own intense reaction to the idea of seeking all of this, is actually a little laughable. For years I’ve tricked myself into thinking I was experiencing profound feelings of loss and loneliness because of my status. I’ve always felt like an outlier, alone in a crowded room. But, I have also discovered that group after group, didn’t fit my vibe. The notion of becoming “an in-group member” actually made me feel strangled, forced and confined. I found myself trying to back away.

Not sure if you prefer to be group-less? Here are a few things I joyfully observed about myself, as the “lone wolf”.

Perhaps you will relate:

• Groups fail to energize you. You might hang out with a group, feeling like you have nothing to contribute to the conversation. To be quite honest, it just doesn’t interest you all that much.
• The topics don’t fit. In many groups, you find that the things you want to talk about — are things that pretty much no one else wants to talk about. (Frankly, you are a little relieved, because they may not do your awesome topic justice.)
• You avoid the hootenanny. You don’t want to go to Wanderlust with a bus full of people — or discover sand in crevices where it should never be at the Burning Man festival. (I won’t even mention another Young Living Oil party, drinking wine on a Wednesday night.)
• “Give me space” is your mantra. You might actually love Young Living Oils, but you would rather shop online from the privacy of your own home.
• Just no. Shopping with another person makes you itch.
• You are a not a “regular”. You walk into a yoga class and everyone stops talking and turns to stare. “Who is that?!” someone asks and everyone shrugs.
• Your need for contact is “camel-like”. You intensely enjoy a few really great people and every time you see them you think “I love being with him/her” — even if you don’t see them again for months.
• You simply don’t drink the Kool Aid. When people start a conversation and it starts to remotely resemble “group think” you want to bolt.
• You are content with doing your own thing. You genuinely do not feel a bit jealous when you see group photos of everyone’s fabulous groups having great fun posted (just about everywhere).
• You totally, genuinely, love being alone.

For all the group-centered folks reading this, please know that the notion is great if that is what you are seeking. But, not everyone requires one.

If you are like me, try not to automatically feel that you are less of a full spirit — or missing out of something “deeply sacred”.

Finding this group may be important to many people.

However, that doesn’t mean you are one of them.

Keep doing what makes you feel energized and whole.

Be that wolf pack of one.

As for myself, truth be told — my pack consists of my son, my daughter and my husband.

Because you know what?

They totally “get” me.

Allison McClintick is a seasoned coach & speaker — specializing in influence and consciousness development. She’s a Mom of 2 (20 years & 6 years), a ridiculously talented house painter, lover of quantum physics and is currently pursuing a PhD in Psychology. To balance all that life, work and play — she’s attempting to “think” more effectively with practiced meditation. She’ll keep us updated.

Live.Work.Think.Play shares observations concerning a wide array of topics from running a company — to choosing the right gift. It is designed to share lessons learned from a variety of perspectives.

By: Allison McLintick

I’m fairly sure that “rebel” is genetically encoded within my DNA — adjacent to the information about my brown eyes and auburn hair.

All my life, I have unconsciously felt the urge to go against the grain. I have a natural repulsion for the “herd mentality”, the pressure to pretend, play along . Even the “fake it to make it” idea, drives me to the brink.

I have tried these tactics — and sadly — it never ends well. Situations became quickly “combustible” or I would feel that I had compromised something very close to my core. Admittedly, this trait hasn’t always served me well. My youth and early adult life are littered with ill-judged decisions and (more than a few) burned bridges. It’s a testament to maturation.

I hadn’t harnessed my rebel nature — I was simply living in it.

As I refine my life design and focus on a conscious, elevated way of living, I have come to manage this source of personal power. The term “rebel” can now be accurately replaced with more productive labels such as “non-conformist” or may I venture to say — “genuinely confident”. (Even though as a rebel, I hate labels.)

If you are at all like me (and you are in need of advice), I have 4 tips to help you harness this potentially problematic wild streak into something powerfully dynamic.

Here you go:

• Capture “you”. This exercise is imperative — choose 4 values, adjectives or catch-phrases that you want to use as a life compass and direct your attitude, decision-making and behavior against it. One caveat here. Try to keep it positive. Most “rebels” I know have robust opinions, but lack the focus to really stand for what truly matters to them. Time to figure this out. For example, personally I would want to become: 1) positively powerful, 2) enlightened, 3) perpetually curious and 4) a teacher of truths. I can fit my entire life into those 4 values.
• Stand with confidence in what you are for — not just what you are against. Notice I said “confidence, not obstinacy, combativeness or defensiveness. No one is genuinely influenced by any individual who is notoriously negative.
• Focus on mastering communication. Think communication is a “soft skill”? If yes, rebels will find a very tough road. Communication is the only route to influence. If you feel that internal drive to make your mark, you need to know the how/what/where/when and why’s of the written and spoken word. (Don’t worry, I can help. Message me with your most burning questions.)
• Remember, no one owes you anything. There I said it. It is your life — and only you are accountable. “Rebels” are at their most powerful when they recognize this fact. In this way you can stand for your truths, while knowing you are crystal clear concerning where your accountability begins and ends. This insight will garner  boat loads of respect.

Not quite a rebel like me, but know someone who definitely is? Here are 4 tips to employ their greatest strengths, while helping them evolve.

• Know that you can rely on them for the truth. Admittedly, the truth may be unsolicited. However, in many contexts, it can be a strength. We need to hear from people who will be forthright and transparent. However, gently remind them to be mindful of the situations where commentary and resistance are not appropriate.
• They will likely not fear something different or even taking action. In my line of work, I see many people who are hesitant to make decisions, take risks or fail. “Rebels” generally, have more tolerance for this. Simply, give them some parameters and let them explore.
• Many have a discerning eye for gaps. “Rebels” often resist what is expected, safe or the “norm”. So they often hold a perspective where they can see elements that can be improved . Find out what they’re thinking — and why. There may be a better path.
• Engage them, but don’t expect them to change. My mind roughly functions the same way as it did when I was much younger. This is because my thinking processes are governed by enduring values. (They are certainly more refined.)

There are many “rebels” among us. I have come to love this part of my personality. It was a long haul — but I am loving my current space.

If you are a self-identified rebel, you can get there, as well.

Read more about it.* (Click on the photo to learn more)

 

Allison McClintick is a seasoned coach & speaker — specializing in influence and consciousness development. She’s a Mom of 2 (20 years & 6 years), a ridiculously talented house painter, lover of quantum physics and is currently pursuing a PhD in Psychology. To balance all that life, work and play — she’s attempting to “think” more effectively with practiced meditation. She’ll keep us updated.

Live.Work.Think.Play shares observations concerning a wide array of topics from running a company — to the fragrance. It is designed to share lessons learned from a variety of perspectives.

Putting yourself out there is rarely easy.

Whether you are considering a life or career move — taking that risk and showing up for your dream can be a struggle. Even when we know the path is what you desire. As human beings, it is simply a natural instinct to circle the wagons and protect ourselves.

However, as protection can potentially control our losses, it can also limit our forward progress. Whitney Johnson aptly talks about this iconic dilemma in her HBR post: Always, Always, Always Show Up. (To be honest, her post could have saved my psyche had it been published earlier — when I realized LinkedIn’s Influencer Program included a “follow” button.)

When we guard ourselves too vehemently — we can miss the moments that just might matter.

Here are 3 talks to help you grapple with these emotions and argue with yourself more effectively. (You can also see the playlist at our channel here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPobAd0urxAGPaVu4PNWsIQ)

Hoping you decide to show up!

Brene Brown at 99U: Your critics are not the one’s who count.
It’s tough to create. But, your critics shouldn’t be the loudest voice in your head.

Alison Legerwood: Getting stuck in the negatives.
Dr Legerwood discusses how our past experiences predispose us to remain in a “loss” mindset — and how we need to change that dynamic.

Whitney Johnson: Personal disruption is a mindset.
Whitney honestly asks herself, “Did I really show up, did I really take my dream on?”

Live.Work.Think.Play shares observations concerning a wide array of topics from running a company — to the fragrance. It is designed to share lessons learned from a variety of perspectives.